I thought I'd write a letter
Thought I'd try to assign words to every object in my heart that makes me ill.
But I found nothing to say, there are no words that could explain this dulling hatred in my heart against my will.
Pages from my book that recall memories of my hells, each one chipping little pieces from my smile.
The fire's throwing numbers out into the dark, lighten up you Christmas tree.
Night turned into day when all of your branches caught the flames, and you shone just like the sunlight down on me.
Caught my hair on fire but I killed it with my sleeve,
Before your heat could kill the cold that I let live inside of me.
In that burning wood I could see faces staring back, in writhing pain they call out to me for the courage that I lack.
I have been bad people, I have been a bad woman.
You mark me not by who I was but by who I choose to become.
And when I'm at my weakest, hang me high above the clouds.
Let me float out of the orbit I am bound to on the ground.
released April 1, 2015
Written and played by Jenna Ave-Lallemant
Produced, recorded, mixed, and played by Andy Dixon
Drums and percussion by Jack Burg
all rights reserved